The Pennsylvania Playhouse is pleased to announce auditions for


Sunday, December 3rd from 4 to 7 PM
Monday, December 4th from 7 to 9 PM

Auditions will be held at the Pennsylvania Playhouse
Illicks Mill Road next to the Bethlehem Golf Course

A young bride innocently sends a mail order off for some Scandinavian glassware, in hopes of raising extra money for her little dream house. What arrives, instead, is Scandinavian pornography. The plot of the show (set in 1970s London region) revolves around what is to be done with the veritable floods of elicit materials, photographs, books, films and eventually girls, that threaten to engulf this happy couple. The matter is considerably complicated by the man's mother, his boss, a visiting bank inspector, a police superintendent and a muddled friend who does everything wrong in his reluctant efforts to set everything right, all of which works up to a hilarious ending.

Sides will be provided for the audition, but you may present a 30-60 second monologue if you would like. All performers must be at least 21 years of age. Race/ethnicity is completely open for all roles.  Age ranges listed for characters are general ranges and refer only to appearances, not your actual age! Age ranges may have to be adjusted based on casting, so if you are interested in a role and close enough to that age range, give it a shot!

British accents please, we’re British!


Peter Hunter: Manager of a sub-branch of the National United Bank (to play mid-late 20's)
A bit too concerned with appearances, Peter is eager to be the bread-winner for his new bride. He calmly and kindly tries to please both women in his life (mom and new wife), but when parcels of pornography show up – and general mayhem ensues - well, he panics just a little.

Frances Hunter: Peter’s newlywed wife (to play mid-20's)
A spunky, spirited young and loving newlywed, Frances has an independent streak (a bit more problematic for young women in the early 1970's!). She faces some challenges in her new mother-in-law, as well as in living above her husband’s workplace. She wants a home away from bank buzzers, and also away from “mother.” She must appear in some level of undress for a bit of time, since it propels the comedy bit.

Brian Runnicles: The chief cashier (to play mid-20's-30's)
Always a best man and never a groom, but he does try to stay fit! Brian is an unassuming bag of nerves. High energy and high drama, this actor must be good with physicality as well as vocal variety. Think Morris Moss of The IT Crowd, and please bring a zany, nervous laugh to share.

Eleanor Hunter: Peter’s mother (must appear old enough to have a son in his 20's)
Seemingly a rather stereotypical mother-in-law: subtly overbearing, only slightly interfering, just a wee bit judgmental, and completely oblivious to the fact that her settling in to the guest room could interrupt the newlywed bliss! However, she is eccentric and a bit zany, and has some of her own goals at work as she angles for Leslie’s attention.

Leslie Bromhead: The National United Bank’s district manager, Peter’s boss (50-65)
Mr. Bromhead = Proper Brit Bank Boss. Could have a comical, puffed-up sort of speech pattern, to make sure he is perceived as “having all the social graces.”. Putting on a very proper good show!
Superintendent Paul: Of the local police force (45-60)
A genial man who really tries not to drink on duty.  He’s fairly oblivious to important things around him, but has a keen eye for the trivial.  

Mr. Needham: A bank inspector (40-60)
Mr. Needham is a high-strung, chronic insomniac and has to take sleeping capsules. Actor should be good with physicality and bombast.

Susan (25-35)
Paid and scantily clad party girl sent by “The Scandinavian Import Company.” It’s her job to make the customer happy, and she seems to enjoy the work. Must be comfortable “prancing about” in some enticing get-ups. Susan does most of the talking for the party-girl team.

Barbara (25-35)
Same description as Susan, except Barbara does her talking with gestures and facial expression, not so many words.
Delivery man/woman (21-75)

If you would like to audition and can’t make the times allowed - or have any questions - please email director Jan Labellarte at: